Wednesday, August 31, 2011

The 10 Things They Never Say About Becoming A Writer.

I only recently figured out what a sneaky business this writing thing is. I mean, I don't know if I would have taken the leap into writing if I had known all these things before. I kinda feel like it's my duty to pass on the warning to others. So, here it goes.

The 10 Things They Never Say About Becoming A Writer.

1. Your hands will cramp...a lot. You're probably thinking this was an obvious one, but think about all the words you've written so far. Take that times a million or so and that's what you're getting into. Think about this. Do you really want to think that hard about anything?

2. You're spending a lot of time in your own head. I don't know about you all, but strange and unusual things happen inside this scull of mine and I honestly am not sure I like spending that much time alone with my thoughts.

3. Music will become life. If you're like me, then you MUST write with music. The thing is, because of your lack of social activity (you're spending all that time writing, remember?) you'll start depending on music to remind you that the world still exists. It will become an addiction.

4. Speaking of addictions...writing takes over your life. Every thought you have will eventually be translated into prose as if you were the author to your life story. This will be one of those times you wish you had adventure, romance, or something. Apparently, I'm stuck with the average joe memoir. (Not that memoirs are average or boring. Those characteristics would belong to my life.)

5. You're life, like mine, will become more average and more boring. Believe it or not, new worlds, people, and incredible adventures do not create, or write, themselves. Talk about a time suck.

6. No one ever told me how much I didn't know. I mean, I always did fairly well in English class. How hard could it be? It just making stuff up with the language I've used since I started talking. Pshaw, how naive.

7. You think you already know the basic function of most things. Oh, you are so wrong. You'll figure that out soon enough. I know I did when I had to write about the minute particles of atoms. Seriously, it's not like I want to be a chemical engineer. I just want to write for heaven's sake. Where was the fine print there?

8. Say adios to your daydreams. Your life is now consumed by writing. Daydreams? Heck, more like plotting and planning sessions. One second of distraction and you'll be out of the real world and into your book. Who needs time travel? Just drop into your book when you're bored. You name the time, the place, the setting, and the people. Heck, go to India if you want with your best Irish friend.

9. Speaking of friends. Is it officially unacceptable for your best friends to be fictitious and live in your head? I'd just like to know where I stand...right, well, I guess we all know where I am now. Guess I should add get used to those awkward pauses to this list.

10. The last thing they'll never tell you is that writing can become the best thing that's ever happened to you. You can meet real people who like you, have cramped hands, spend insane amounts of time with themselves, have no life, obsess over music, obsess over writing, time travel in their daydreams, and have fictitious friends. They're also some of the smartest people you'll ever know. (And you should probably stick with them during a zombie apocalypse)

You'll also find you are a lot more awesome than you ever knew because you are an author. 


Kristie Cook said...

Hehe! Cute list. I'm currently learning more than I ever wanted to know about Ancient Greek and Roman armies. And I spent a good portion of Saturday looking for just the right music. Right there with ya!

Carolyn V said...

lol! So true. All of it. It's funny the cool looks I get from people when I tell them I'm a writer. AWESOME! But yeah, writing does take time. Tons of it.

Elana Johnson said...

What a great list! And yes, writing is a whole new world, isn't it?

Susan R. Mills said...

Great list! And so humorous, too!

Jennifer Earp said...

Love it! I know the feeling. Glad to see you back online.

Meredith said...

Love this! And yes, it's totally okay for your best friends to be fictitious. :)